Have you heard the expression
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Although this can be a great way to think about past relationships — appreciating love in all its forms — it can also make us feel melancholy, miss “the good old days” or regret things we did.
I recently stumbled on a new musical artist, Leif Vollebekk. In his song When the Subway Comes Above the Ground he twists that well-known homily like this:
“It is better to have left and laughed than never to have left at all.”
– Leif Vollebekk When the Subway Comes Above the Ground
For some of us, this is all too true! It is better to have left unhappy or abusive relationships and learned to laugh again. It is better that we found our inner, hidden strength, that we learned to respect and love ourselves… It is so much better to be alone and happy than attached to someone who hates himself so much, he seems intent on making you miserable.
It has been over twelve years since I left and laughed. If you are on the threshold of doing the same, considering leaving an unkind mate, let me tell you there is life after an ugly relationship — there is laughter after leaving.
International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies
Listen to Leif Vollebekk’s song here: