New Outlook on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day. Love. Sweethearts. Lovers. It’s a day to celebrate that person who will buy you chocolate, a diamond, or take you out for a dimly-lit overpriced dinner. Oops, is my skepticism showing? 😉

But what if you’re single? Valentine’s Day can be a very lonely day! But it doesn’t have to be. Being single doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you as a person. Your value does not depend on being in a relationship.

This Valentine’s Day, rather than focusing on romantic couple love, let’s remember and celebrate all the amazing people in our lives! Let’s make February 14 a special day to make sure we don’t forget about all the lovely, caring people in our lives…

  • friends who are like sisters, brothers, and cousins
  • sisters, brothers, and cousins who are amazing friends!
  • friends who would give us the shirt off their back if we needed it
  • friends who would drive for 8 hours to see us
  • friends who call to check on us just to make sure we’re okay
  • friends who support us in our dreams, accept us as we are and laugh at our funny stories
  • friends who are like partners in crime!
  • friends who were there for us when we were mourning, or who visit us in the hospital
  • friends who take us along with them to some tropical place, or music festival, or canoe trip
  • friends who we just can’t wait to see again

There is no need to be lonely on Valentine’s Day, when you are as lucky as I am to have friends like these. Allowing yourself to get down in the dumps because you don’t have “that special someone” is a slap in the face to all the wonderful people you do have! In a way, it’s a profound new level of UNthankfulness, so no wonder it feels so hopeless and full of despair. Might I suggest a radical change in your perspective?

Be grateful for all the amazing people in your life. You are not alone. You never will be! Refuse to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself, moping, or feeling desperate to hook up with somebody. You are better than that — that is only one option of how to act on Valentine’s Day. You could instead choose to be fabulously happy, calling or messaging all your best friends to let them know how important they are to you, or making plans to do something you LOVE to do but don’t usually have the time for. This, of all days, is the day to make sure you don’t forget those people who have helped you when you are down, who held you up when you were weak, or who believed in you when you weren’t so sure about yourself. Know that you are an amazing person, full of life and vitality, and that life is full of possibilities.

Nope, there won’t be any moping around this place! My chocolate is happiness and my diamonds are appreciation. I go for joy! Married and dating people, you can appreciate all the wonderful people in your life, too!

(Photo from Patti Digh’s blog)

Connecting with the Essense of Appreciation

Gratitude is so important to focus on. It makes the difference between smelling the roses and just inhaling a different flavoured air.

Making a list of things to be grateful for is nothing new. Many people keep a gratitude journal to help them to remember all the things they have to be thankful for. I think we all know intuitively that this is a good practice, and that connecting with gratitude is the way to a more enlightened life. There is a little more to it than just scribbling in a book, however.

Mindlessly writing is mindlessly writing. It doesn’t matter what’s actually getting onto the page. When you are making a list of things to be thankful for, do so consciously. Pause and really picture what it is you appreciate about that thing. Connect with the wonder of it, the beauty or the specialness. This isn’t a “head-thing” — making a longer list, or adding more adjectives (details). It’s a “heart-thing.” Activate your imagination and feel the appreciation grow.

In fact, if you think about it, sometimes when you are thankful for something what’s actually active in your vibration is the very thing you don’t want. For example, you could be thankful for your health, but in your mind, you are thinking of this-or-that person who has the flu, and *whew* you haven’t caught it yet. If you continue down this road of thinking, you may end up with the flu after all, because of the Law of Attraction. You spent more time thinking about the flu than thinking about how healthy, energetic and spunky you feel! This may actually explain the increase in cancer we are seeing lately. Rather than focusing on being healthy, people everywhere are focusing on the illness, the symptoms, the treatments, and the deaths.

Shift your focus. Be sympathetic to those who are ill, but don’t forget what it means to be healthy. Be more grateful, but make sure that your focus is on the thing you love and the gratitude or appreciation itself. In fact, just changing your lingo from “gratitude” to appreciation can be enough to remind you that it’s all about the positive aspects, the light, and the beauty.

Note: You may like to join the Gratitude log — a place to post whatever you are grateful for!