I was thinking lately about the Uncertainty Principle. It is a concept in physics, and before you tune me out because that word (physics) scares you, let me explain. It’s a very simple idea.
The Uncertainty Principle says that you can’t know everything about a particle, and I am going to make the analogy that you can’t know everything about a situation. If it happened to you — and I’m thinking of skeletons here — then you know a lot of the details, facts, feelings, etc. But you may never know why that painful thing happened to you. On the other hand, you may have a very good idea why a situation unfolded, and in that case, you won’t know very much about the details of the outcome. You may think you know, but you don’t.
I share this because I hope it will help you come to peace with things in your past and help you to stop searching for “why.” You simply may never know why. You may spend a great deal of energy looking for the reason why, but it is like banging your head against the glass — it will not get you anywhere. It is more helpful to change the story that you are telling yourself about the situation, to reframe it into something that has a more positive spin and acknowledges that you have had many positive experiences as a result of that particular skeleton in your closet. That helps you dissolve any shame and release resentment — how can you resent something that was ultimately for your good? How you talk to yourself is very important (that’s why I have Tell Yourself This affirmations at the end of each chapter in my book). How you center yourself is very important.
So, accept that there are things that you don’t know, can’t know, and will never know. And that’s okay. We were never meant to be omnipotent. We were meant to live in the moment and wherever there is loveliness, beauty or joy, to experience it fully, deeply, and without reservation.
The leaves on many trees have sawtooth edges, yet they don’t function or sound like a saw. Similarly, people who appear one way aren’t necessarily that way at their core. For example, a harsh-looking teenager, with piercings, dyed hair and dark makeup isn’t necessarily a trouble-maker or a violent person. He or she is, most likely, a hurting person, or perhaps they are just conforming to the norm in their group of friends. Likewise, someone who seems to have their life all together often doesn’t; he or she is just working very hard to keep up the illusion, in order to hide the true chaos within.
This is just a reminder to never judge things by how they appear, nor people by how they act. There is always more going on below the surface. Why not give people a chance to show who they really are? When you are genuine, it encourages others to be as well. It isn’t complicated, and I guess it all comes back to the golden rule:
Treat others as you would have them treat you.
If you can get a leaf to actually cut wood, let me know! Wouldn’t that be handy?!? Then again, if that were true, when a breeze tickled its branches, the tree would cut itself to pieces, and like everyone else, it has a will to survive — to thrive — too! Nature never harms itself. It aims for all species to thrive together, and left undisturbed, that’s exactly what it will do. We are a part of nature; do not harm yourself or think unkind thoughts toward yourself. Let yourself thrive! (Perhaps connecting deeply with nature will help you do this.)
This is a wild rose, but many trees have similar leaves… Isn’t it beautiful!?
Although the skeletons in your closet are all about the past, it is very important to consider how you relate to the future. As I talk about in the last chapter of Love Your Skeletons, finding a way to have hope is crucial.
Even if your past is a mess of mistakes, abuse, bad parents, crazy friends and terrible relationships, the future isn’t written yet. Life can be anything you make it. But you have to learn to leave the past behind and look forward with hope — make plans, imagine the best, think kind thoughts about yourself — in order to make a new future.
How can you actually do this? It’s not as hard as you think. Here are a few ideas:
-Think of someone who is successful, and imagine that she had a messed-up past too. She found a way to overcome whatever happened, love herself and allow her abundance and success to come in! Now imagine that you can do the same!
– Whenever you feel tempted to deny yourself something you enjoy, or punish yourself, take a deep breath and say “I am not going to be mean to myself. I am a good person. I deserve good things in my life.”
– Sit down in the morning with a hot cup of coffee or tea and watch the sun rise. As its rays lighten the sky and then break over the horizon, hopefulness comes naturally.
I can’t get no-oo
I can’t get no-oo
If you are feeling dissatisfied with life lately, it could be because you are resisting the natural tendency toward growth. We are growth-oriented beings, but if you are nervous or afraid and backing away from life, even slightly or subconsciously, you may end up with a vague unhappy or unsettled feeling. Reconnect with the abundance of nature and the incredible beauty and power of gradual, sequential growth!
Everything grows, and so do we. Remember this saying:
The only thing constant is change.
When we spend too much time in a rut, either because we are afraid of change, or don’t think we have the ability or strength to grow through a situation, we usually end up bored and depressed. Embrace growth again by surrounding yourself with growing things like plants, baby animals, or the new sprouts in a garden. Marvel at it and know that your growth can be as effortless and smooth as the growth you see in nature.
There is always more going on than is on the surface.
Whatever physical symptoms you are experiencing, they are only the tip of the iceberg. If you get quiet for a moment and breathe, it will be come apparent to you whatever the real underlying “problem” is – whatever is really going on in the physio-spiritual realm. This might be a strictly spiritual problem or issue, or it may be an emotional thing you are dealing with, or you may have dis-ease in your thinking.
This third one is the most likely and luckily, the easiest one to change. If you are thinking thoughts of struggle, difficulty or unhealthiness, then your body will manifest a physical symptom to match. It might be a sore throat. It might be a chronic illness or long-term disease. It might be excess pounds. Whatever you are experiencing, there is a spiritual solution, and it mostly likely, when you really distill it down, is due to a lack of self-love. Take some time to connect to your higher self, your sleep angels or your inner spirit, and you will see yourself the way Spirit sees you. That is the one of the best ways to connect with self-love, and the solution to any “problem.”
I live in northern Canada, and in stereotypical Canadian weather, we are having a major blizzard today! For those of you who have never experienced a “snow day,” I thought I would share the joy!
Okay, I’ll admit, I have mixed feelings when I wake up, expecting to see the sun in a clear blue sky and instead, it’s gray skies and snowflakes falling down like there’s no tomorrow. But, it is beautiful, and there’s a certain awe and feeling of fun — for me, anyway — when it’s all snowy outside.
But the true beauty of a snow day is that school is canceled! That’s where the joy of snow days originates — when you’re in grade two and it’s a snow day, it’s the best day of your life! For us adults, a snow day is the perfect excuse to just lay low. You can cancel whatever you had planned, and just hang out at home, preferably with a good book and a fire blazing in the wood stove. And even if you have to go out, it’s kind of an adventure too see how bad the roads are, how your vehicle performs and see if you can get to your destination without getting stuck. For kids, it’s the perfect opportunity to go sledding (tobogganing) or make snowmen or snow forts. Hmmm… why don’t we adults make snow forts any more? We should — we would probably be a lot happier if we just played in the snow now and then!
So if you are feeling stressed, let me officially give you permission to take a snow day. Cancel whatever insignificant errands you had planned. Hunker down and get cozy. Treat yourself to something you like to do and pretend you’re all snowed in, wherever you are. 🙂
*Perhaps for some of you, you can replace the word “snow” with “sand” or “surf.” 🙂
I stumbled upon this video and it impacted me so greatly, I wanted to share it with all of you!
Can you see how the Law of Attraction is at work in this amazing woman’s life?
Can you see how a positive attitude and love of music saved them, even though from one perspective it seems ridiculous? And it not only saved their lives, it saved their sanity and their lives.
So how could you use this same principle to ignore your dreary or discouraging surroundings — which are far less serious than what they faced — focus on something beautiful or lovely or have fun anyway?
Can you muster up some “ridiculous hope” to help yourself through a tough time?
I tweet pretty often now (follow me at LoveYoSkeletons), and I saw a great one today by Deepak Chopra:
Every problem is open to a spiritual solution. It is found by expanding your awareness, moving beyond the limited vision of the problem.
How true. I thought that I might be able to help you with some ideas on how to move beyond your vision of the problem, or change your perspective.
When you are really struggling, really in the thick of things and perhaps even fighting depression, try these thought-starters:
– What might I think about this in 20 or 30 years? Will it seem like such an awful thing then?
– What might my mate or best friend have to say about this? What would his/her perspective be?
– Is this actually life threatening? (Often, we feel afraid like something is life threatening when it isn’t.)
To really make the shift Deepak is talking about, however, we should look into the non-physical realm. Sit quietly, take a few deep breaths and come back to the present moment. Ask yourself (pause after each question to see if an answer “bubbles forth” into your mind):
– What would my angels or spirit guides have to say about this?
– Sometimes there is a solution “out of left field.” It might even seem to be unrelated to the problem. What might that be?
– How could I take better care of myself?
That last one might seem a little “out of left field” too, but if you think about it, when we take better care of ourselves — love and appreciate ourselves — our energy flows more smoothly, our anxiety goes down and the spiritual solution becomes apparent or simply takes care of the problem. It is not complicated: you know how you may have been mistreating or not loving yourself. Connect with Spirit and connect with self-appreciation (and do something fun!) and most problems disappear in the wind.
So, 2011 is officially over — what kind of year was it for you? Have you done a sort of personal “year in review?” If so, how does it look? Scary? Good? Not bad on the whole, but could be better?
How would you like 2012 to be? I think a lot of us were raised not to think of the future too much, not to hope for too much, and not to ask for much at all! But, if we want to expand into the happy, fulfilled people we are meant to be, thinking of the future in an optimistic, hopeful way is imperative. Take some time during this first week of January and dare to think about what you would like your life to be like.
Try this for fun: project twelve months ahead and tell yourself a story about how it will be. It could be something like “next December, I’ll be so happy! I’ll be more relaxed than I was this year, and my issues at work will be resolved. My money situation will be much better, and I’ll be surrounded by friends for the holidays…” Think about whatever you’d like. Address issues you are working on, or areas you wish were different — really get fantasizing! Try and focus on this positive dream of the future for a full minute, or longer if you can. The more you can do it, the more likely it is to come true.
I know lots of us are susceptible to apocalypsing (imagining the worst in full, HD colour!), so doing some optimistic day dreaming will help to counteract the apocalypsing, especially if you nip it in the bud.
It’s going to be a great year (as long as the Mayans weren’t right about the end of the world…)!
Don’t you just feel like crying sometimes? When life is hard, it can be absolutely overwhelming. The strength of will it takes not to cry can be exhausting.
So if you feel like crying, you just go right ahead. You will not fall apart and never get it back together. Cry. Surrender. When the tears are over, you will feel better and you can get on with your day and your life. You may even get a tidbit of insight after it is over. You may even feel encouraged.
If you feel like crying every day, please, reach out to someone for help. Call a friend or a suicide hotline. But if it’s only once in a while, don’t worry about it, and if the urge to cry is too powerful, then just give in and cry.
A handy tip: have a list of websites ready that (usually) make you laugh. I like Savage Chickens, for example, but some of the fail blogs or crazy cat videos on YouTube are good for a lol too!