Jul042012

Dissatisfied

Cue guitars….

I can’t get no-oo
Sa-tis-fac-tion
I can’t get no-oo
Sa-tis-fac-tion…

If you are feeling dissatisfied with life lately, it could be because you are resisting the natural tendency toward growth. We are growth-oriented beings, but if you are nervous or afraid and backing away from life, even slightly or subconsciously, you may end up with a vague unhappy or unsettled feeling. Reconnect with the abundance of nature and the incredible beauty and power of gradual, sequential growth!

Everything grows, and so do we. Remember this saying:

The only thing constant is change.

When we spend too much time in a rut, either because we are afraid of change, or don’t think we have the ability or strength to grow through a situation, we usually end up bored and depressed. Embrace growth again by surrounding yourself with growing things like plants, baby animals, or the new sprouts in a garden. Marvel at it and know that your growth can be as effortless and smooth as the growth you see in nature.

May152012

The Truth About Discrimination

Have you ever felt like you were being discriminated against? For whatever reason, you felt like you weren’t being treated fairly… and you may have obsessed over it. It doesn’t matter if you figured out the exact reason, or what type of discrimination was taking place. It doesn’t even matter if the discrimination was intentional or not, real or imagined.

What can you do when you feel like you aren’t being treated the same as everyone else?

Let me tell you the secret to stopping discrimination. It is not about the discriminator — it is all about how you, the victim, thinks and feels about how others treat you.

The absolute best thing you can do is not think about your perceived mistreatment. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about it, you must change your thinking — think about something completely different. Have you ever played a first-person-shooter video game? If you have, think of changing your thinking like when you swing around in the game and run the opposite way.

At times when you feel good and are not obsessing about your discrimination or mistreatment, try telling yourself this:

“I am a fantastic person! I am amazing and wonderful and everyone around me can see that just because. I attract people who treat me properly. I attract people who respect me and see my value.”

When you focus on this, the vibration of discrimination goes away, and the Universe sees you a person who has wonderful, positive interactions with everyone, and that’s all you will have.

You will attract people who respect you and see your value. The Universe takes care of the rest. You don’t need to worry about how or if the disrespectful person/people will change. If they don’t change, they may spontaneously quit or leave your life in some other way. Perhaps you will be the one to move on, or even be fired! It sounds terrible, but at least then, you will be moving on. Chances are, the day you are fired will be the day you find a better job where everyone will respect you and treat you properly. It will happen really fast, once you are clear, because the Universe doesn’t waste time. Once you see yourself as the wonderful, deserving person you are, and you see what types of interactions you want to have with people, the Universe can only respond to this new vibration.

All your interactions on the street, from other drivers to coffee baristas, will be positive when that’s what you see and you cannot see anything else. When you get that clear, it will happen very, very fast. The bully might spontaneously start treating you nice. Or you’ll get that promotion. You won’t have to look for the nice coffee baristas, they will find you. You don’t have to make it happen, it will just all work out. The trick is to focus on the end point — having positive, respectful interactions with everyone — without noticing that you aren’t there yet.

The truth about discrimination is that discriminators don’t go around looking for people to discriminate against; victims attract people who treat them badly. If everyone expected to be treated fairly and with respect, everyone would be. Discrimination would fade into our history, never to be seen again. Now that’s the kind of world I want to live in! Don’t you agree?

Apr182012

More Than Meets the Eye

There is always more going on than is on the surface.

Whatever physical symptoms you are experiencing, they are only the tip of the iceberg. If you get quiet for a moment and breathe, it will be come apparent to you whatever the real underlying “problem” is – whatever is really going on in the physio-spiritual realm. This might be a strictly spiritual problem or issue, or it may be an emotional thing you are dealing with, or you may have dis-ease in your thinking.

This third one is the most likely and luckily, the easiest one to change. If you are thinking thoughts of struggle, difficulty or unhealthiness, then your body will manifest a physical symptom to match. It might be a sore throat. It might be a chronic illness or long-term disease. It might be excess pounds. Whatever you are experiencing, there is a spiritual solution, and it mostly likely, when you really distill it down, is due to a lack of self-love. Take some time to connect to your higher self, your sleep angels or your inner spirit, and you will see yourself the way Spirit sees you. That is the one of the best ways to connect with self-love, and the solution to any “problem.”

Mar182012

Snow Day!

I live in northern Canada, and in stereotypical Canadian weather, we are having a major blizzard today! For those of you who have never experienced a “snow day,” I thought I would share the joy!

Okay, I’ll admit, I have mixed feelings when I wake up, expecting to see the sun in a clear blue sky and instead, it’s gray skies and snowflakes falling down like there’s no tomorrow. But, it is beautiful, and there’s a certain awe and feeling of fun — for me, anyway — when it’s all snowy outside.

But the true beauty of a snow day is that school is canceled! That’s where the joy of snow days originates — when you’re in grade two and it’s a snow day, it’s the best day of your life! For us adults, a snow day is the perfect excuse to just lay low. You can cancel whatever you had planned, and just hang out at home, preferably with a good book and a fire blazing in the wood stove. And even if you have to go out, it’s kind of an adventure too see how bad the roads are, how your vehicle performs and see if you can get to your destination without getting stuck. For kids, it’s the perfect opportunity to go sledding (tobogganing) or make snowmen or snow forts. Hmmm… why don’t we adults make snow forts any more? We should — we would probably be a lot happier if we just played in the snow now and then!

So if you are feeling stressed, let me officially give you permission to take a snow day. Cancel whatever insignificant errands you had planned. Hunker down and get cozy. Treat yourself to something you like to do and pretend you’re all snowed in, wherever you are. 🙂

*Perhaps for some of you, you can replace the word “snow” with “sand” or “surf.” 🙂

Mar152012

The Cure for Worry

If you’ve read my book, you already know the cure for self-pity — thankfulness! Like a flash of lightning, it came to me today:

The cure for worry is trust.

The concept of trust came to me strongly about two years ago. I had decided to go on a seven-day solo kayak trip on the Peace River. I am an experienced kayaker, so a kayak trip was not outside my range of abilities, but to go for seven days all alone in the wilderness, that stretched me out of my comfort zone a little. I was nervous about the river I was on (even though it had no significant rapids). I was nervous about having difficulties disembarking in a current on a muddy shore, all by myself. I was a little worried about bears and wolves. I was extra careful in everything I did, because I didn’t want to injure myself.

It took me about three days to relax a little and feel comfortable being on my own. On the fourth day, I started developing some pain in my right shoulder, so all that day and the next, I had to paddle very carefully — consciously — to make sure I wouldn’t injure it further. I averaged about 50 km per day, which made for pretty long days. It was late on the fifth day as I was paddling toward my goal for the day that a message came to me directly from my intuition.

It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Three words just appeared in my thoughts. I had been very meditatively paddling for about an hour, and the river was glistening, the breeze blowing and the sun setting. I chalk it up to five days in the sunshine, wilderness, solitude and serenity. Source (or God), was finally able to get through all the clutter in my mind, and the message It felt most important to deliver was:

Trust and Enjoy.

My heart sang as I realized I had finally connected with my intuition! And the message was so wonderful and simple! I did it joyfully — I trusted that I was going to be fine. I stopped worrying about drowning in the river and trusted the river to carry me. I enjoyed the sunshine and the beautiful peace of that moment.

Today, almost two years later, I was thinking about why worry is so destructive and unhelpful. Worrying about your problems seems to make them a hundred times worse, both in how they feel and in how they actually are. How can a person combat that tough bugger, worry? More easily this time, the word came to me: Trust.

I love simple solutions! Isn’t this great?!? If you want to stop worrying, just trust. I won’t tell you what to trust in, just trust. Trust in God, if you like. Trust that the Universe is on your side. Trust that Source wants to bless you, not curse you. Donald Cooper, a successful businessman, says “trust the process.” That works as well as anything — trust that if you are doing your best, there is nothing to worry about. Trust the process. You are improving. You are growing. You are already amazing, and you’re getting even better!!

I don’t think it really matters what you trust in. Trust in yourself, trust in your family, trust in the laws of physics or the laws of the Universe. You cannot trust and worry at the same time. Whenever worry rears its very ugly head, take a deep breath and remind yourself to trust.

Pink sunset on the Peace River

Pink sunset on the Peace River

I’ll have to tell you the story of the time I sat out a thunderstorm on the shore of the river with no shelter or protection. That was life-changing too!

Mar082012

Ridiculous Hope

I stumbled upon this video and it impacted me so greatly, I wanted to share it with all of you!

Can you see how the Law of Attraction is at work in this amazing woman’s life?

Can you see how a positive attitude and love of music saved them, even though from one perspective it seems ridiculous? And it not only saved their lives, it saved their sanity and their lives.

So how could you use this same principle to ignore your dreary or discouraging surroundings — which are far less serious than what they faced — focus on something beautiful or lovely or have fun anyway?

Can you muster up some “ridiculous hope” to help yourself through a tough time?

Just some things to think about!

Mar072012

Changing Perspective

I tweet pretty often now (follow me at LoveYoSkeletons), and I saw a great one today by Deepak Chopra:

Every problem is open to a spiritual solution. It is found by expanding your awareness, moving beyond the limited vision of the problem.

How true. I thought that I might be able to help you with some ideas on how to move beyond your vision of the problem, or change your perspective.

When you are really struggling, really in the thick of things and perhaps even fighting depression, try these thought-starters:

– What might I think about this in 20 or 30 years? Will it seem like such an awful thing then?
– What might my mate or best friend have to say about this? What would his/her perspective be?
– Is this actually life threatening? (Often, we feel afraid like something is life threatening when it isn’t.)

To really make the shift Deepak is talking about, however, we should look into the non-physical realm. Sit quietly, take a few deep breaths and come back to the present moment. Ask yourself (pause after each question to see if an answer “bubbles forth” into your mind):

– What would my angels or spirit guides have to say about this?
– Sometimes there is a solution “out of left field.” It might even seem to be unrelated to the problem. What might that be?
– How could I take better care of myself?

That last one might seem a little “out of left field” too, but if you think about it, when we take better care of ourselves — love and appreciate ourselves — our energy flows more smoothly, our anxiety goes down and the spiritual solution becomes apparent or simply takes care of the problem. It is not complicated: you know how you may have been mistreating or not loving yourself. Connect with Spirit and connect with self-appreciation (and do something fun!) and most problems disappear in the wind.

Feb032012

Moving Up the Emotional Scale

It can be tough sometimes to overcome skeletons in your closet. Without meaning to, we can get stuck in certain patterns, and those patterns can often be summarized into an emotional state, such as disappointment, pessimism or anger.

It is not too hard to move up the emotional scale, by reaching for a better-feeling thought. Like climbing a flight of stairs, you just step up to the next one, you don’t try to jump all the way to the top. Read the emotional scale, originally from Ester and Jerry Hicks (or Abraham-Hicks) book Ask and It is Given. Where are you on the emotional scale today?


Joy! Empowerment! Love! Appreciation!
Passion
Enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness
Positive expectation/belief
Optimism
Hopefulness
Contentment
Boredom
Pessimism
Frustration, irritation, impatience
“Overwhelment”
Disappointment
Doubt
Worry
Blame
Discouragement
Anger
Revenge
Hatred/rage
Jealousy

So even though you might be feeling stuck at disappointment, perhaps you can reach for an overwhelming thought. Don’t stay there too long – try to reach for a frustrating thought. Even though this is not exactly enlightened thinking, it will be an improvement on overwhelment. If you can get yourself to pessimism, you are only two steps away from contentment!

You can do this process over the course of a single day, but also over several days. In fact, these levels are just shades of gray between the ultimate best-feeling and worst-feeling thoughts. Just reach for the best one you can find at any given moment in time! As you get higher and higher, even if it is just for a short time, “milk it” for all its worth and it will get easier and easier to reach those happy levels!

More about the emotional scale in chapter 19 of the book! Order a copy today! paperback | ebook

Jan012012

Happy 2012!

So, 2011 is officially over — what kind of year was it for you? Have you done a sort of personal “year in review?” If so, how does it look? Scary? Good? Not bad on the whole, but could be better?

How would you like 2012 to be? I think a lot of us were raised not to think of the future too much, not to hope for too much, and not to ask for much at all! But, if we want to expand into the happy, fulfilled people we are meant to be, thinking of the future in an optimistic, hopeful way is imperative. Take some time during this first week of January and dare to think about what you would like your life to be like.

Try this for fun: project twelve months ahead and tell yourself a story about how it will be. It could be something like “next December, I’ll be so happy! I’ll be more relaxed than I was this year, and my issues at work will be resolved. My money situation will be much better, and I’ll be surrounded by friends for the holidays…” Think about whatever you’d like. Address issues you are working on, or areas you wish were different — really get fantasizing! Try and focus on this positive dream of the future for a full minute, or longer if you can. The more you can do it, the more likely it is to come true.

I know lots of us are susceptible to apocalypsing (imagining the worst in full, HD colour!), so doing some optimistic day dreaming will help to counteract the apocalypsing, especially if you nip it in the bud.

It’s going to be a great year (as long as the Mayans weren’t right about the end of the world…)!

Dec282011

Go Ahead and Cry

Don’t you just feel like crying sometimes? When life is hard, it can be absolutely overwhelming. The strength of will it takes not to cry can be exhausting.

So if you feel like crying, you just go right ahead. You will not fall apart and never get it back together. Cry. Surrender. When the tears are over, you will feel better and you can get on with your day and your life. You may even get a tidbit of insight after it is over. You may even feel encouraged.

If you feel like crying every day, please, reach out to someone for help. Call a friend or a suicide hotline. But if it’s only once in a while, don’t worry about it, and if the urge to cry is too powerful, then just give in and cry.

A handy tip: have a list of websites ready that (usually) make you laugh. I like Savage Chickens, for example, but some of the fail blogs or crazy cat videos on YouTube are good for a lol too!

Aug142011

Where You’re Hurting

Nobody likes pain. We don’t like physical pain and we don’t like emotional pain. When we feel it, we want it to stop, and we’ll sometimes go to great measures to do so.
But pain is not all bad. Sometimes when I’m in pain, I have to tell myself “this hurts, but it will not kill me. I am not going to die.” This helps me not to panic, and it might be helpful to tell yourself that too.
Let’s talk about physical pain for a moment and then make some comparisons to emotional pain. The following is taken from this website, which is about how pain works, and how our mental state affects how we feel pain and how we heal. Read on, and don’t worry if there are parts you don’t understand. The most important part is the last sentence:

“Pain can be defined as ‘an unpleasant sensory and emotional (conscious) experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage.’ Although unpleasant, experiencing pain is important for a variety of reasons: in the first instance it acts as a warning of harm, but it will also give rise to a number of physiological responses. The best known of these is axon flare (activated through the axon reflex), which causes vasodilation, reddening and increased sensitivity of the skin surrounding an injured area (triple response). This immediate physical response to injury and pain is important in initiating the processes necessary for repair.”

So without pain, your body would not know it’s hurt and would not start the physical responses that we know as “healing.” Pain has an important part in our healing process. Where you’re hurting is where you’re healing.
Think about this with respect to emotional pain now. If you are hurting from a particular situation, for example, a broken relationship, you also have the most potential for healing in the areas of relationships at that time. If you never hurt — if you were a heartless, nasty person — you have no capacity for healing or growth. Once you are over the pain, the potential for healing and growth in this area decreases. This makes sense if you think about it; when you have healed emotionally from a situation and you are back to your normal routine, you aren’t as inclined to grow. You’re cruising along on the growth you have already accomplished, and that’s a good and necessary stage to go through too!

So, what area are you hurting in? If you did some journaling, do you think you might realize exactly what areas you are growing in? Can you imagine what you would look like having healed from this particular hurt? Spend some time in thick self-appreciation imagining yourself “all healed up” and know that this is the road you are on.

More Encouragement | News

Jul082011

We’re All Okay

We all get bogged down in our skeletons sometimes, or even just in the stressers of daily life. Do you ever just want to just feel good again? Or just want it to be over, whatever “it” is?
We all do! We all feel frustrated with our situation or with ourselves at times. Being mad at yourself, or disappointed in yourself, is the toughest place to be. Sometimes we are frustrated because we know we can or should handle things better, and sometimes it’s just because we feel like we aren’t living up to our expectations or goals. And this can really take your self-esteem and self-appreciation down a few notches. Plus, you can’t get away from yourself, although many have tried with the overuse of alcohol and drugs.
We all want to feel that we’re okay. We all doubt, at times, if we’re normal, or if we are a “bad person,” or if we are worthy of anything good in our lives. When things are really pressing on you hard, it’s okay to seek relief, just to want to feel okay. It’s absolutely 100% okay to just wish things were different for a while. It’s absolutely 100% okay to want to just do something for fun, to take your mind off your troubles and help you feel okay. It’s 100% okay to distract yourself sometimes, just to get your mind out of the hole it’s been in. Sometimes that’s the only way to get out of a “funk” — a bad mood that you woke up with or developed over the day that you just can’t seem to shake.
If there is something you enjoy doing strictly for fun, and it isn’t hurtful to you or anyone else, go and do it! If you have a hobby that makes you happy — golfing, knitting, painting, gardening, whatever — make some time today to go and do it for a little while. The world will not fall apart if you stop working for 20 minutes and have fun. You will feel entirely better for taking time out for fun, and it will help you “to feel okay.” You are whole, you just forget it sometimes when you get the blinders on, working with your nose to the grindstone, or spend too much time thinking critically about yourself. You are awesome, you just forget sometimes.

Apr202011

Available on Lulu!

After years of work writing and editing, and the last several months designing the book and laying it out, it is finally available for sale on lulu.com! Although I was finished about 6 weeks ago, I waited to announce it to the world until I received the hard copy proof of the book to make sure it looked as good as I hoped. And it does!

I am very pleased with my decision to self-publish! It is a thrill to create the book from start to finish. But for anyone thinking of self-publishing in my footsteps, I have a few words of wisdom.

It isn’t any quicker than a traditional publisher. While you bypass the through the process of submitting manuscripts and awaiting approval, you save no time in writing, rewriting, and editing. Then you begin the process of designing the book: finding and hiring an illustrator, finding proofreaders and/or editors, deciding on the typesetting (which I laboured over!), finding a cover designer, finding a book designer, doing the final layout and checks, creating an index, making a reference page, and a zillion other details. You can do some of these jobs yourself — I did everything myself, except for the illustrations and one level of proofreading — but you may not have the skills to design or typeset the book yourself, so this takes extra time as well as money.

It is a lot of work! Even if you are writing full time, the actual process of publishing is very different from writing. The finished product simply must look professional, or you might as well have made it on a photocopy machine. There’s more than a little stress in designing a book!

Self-publishing is very rewarding. As I mentioned, you skip the process of submitting manuscripts and hoping for a contract. You get to take a very active role in your future, rather than waiting for the approval of others. As you might guess, I’m a big fan of that!

I encourage anyone who has written a book to start passing it around to others to read. Get some opinions from a variety of readers and personalities. Send it to your friends who read the most — they know good writing when they read it and can give you tips. Try sending it to some acquaintances who will give you a more honest opinion than your mom!

To be one of the first to order a book, go to the Love Your Skeletons lulu.com page.

Mar232011

Pussy Willows

Why do pussy willows exist,
except to tell us that
spring is coming,
and it is soft and delicate and
beautiful.
Winter is drawing to an end,
and the sun is warming the world.
Life that has been smothered
erupts from the tiniest twigs.
In precious, furry bundles,
it renews our hope.

Mar242010

Radio Interview

I did a radio interview recently about Love Your Skeletons. It was with Janice Marie Wilson on her BlogTalkRadio show. It’s a good introduction to the book and gives a little more info about me as well.

Click here for the show’s page. To listen, click on the player near the center of the page. Or click here or use the mirror here!

Enjoy!